So Many Day Ones

Hey friends! Long overdue an update.  It has been an interesting few weeks to say the least.

Last year heard from me I was about to finish the 5 weeks of T25 and do my end of the month stats. I was on a great roll!  Everything was going extremely well and I felt like I had found my groove.  Enter a business trip.  Normally, this hasn't thrown me in the past. But the things I do now for work take MUCH more of my time and effort with preparing and planning than when I used to go in and do investigations and attend meetings.  Just about everything I'm doing right now I LOVE, but it takes a considerable amount of effort and brainpower...and it's a bunch of firsts.  Which means my focus is on that much more than it will be in a year once things become easier and I'm more familiar with my new role. I did pretty well nutrition wise for most of my trip, but was too exhausted, and feet hurt too bad at the end of each day to work out.  The weather was also awful.  Have you ever had a business trip and traveled 650 miles with it raining on you every single day?  That in and of itself was a challenge, much less doing new things, facilitating and being on my feet, thinking on said feet every day. I forgot how important and balanced my working from home was when I was a traveling person before - I was able to catch up and breath some in between trips. Now it's a race to get back to the office for the next important thing.  SO different.  I love it.  But it's so different and making me appreciate those of you who have had to go into an office all the time for years.

I also have begun to have some issues with my feet.  I have what I think is the beginnings of a bunion on my left foot.  A bunion! Just saying that makes me feel old, to be honest.  I'm trying to wear more flat shoes and ones that aren't tight but it's tough when you also need to look presentable and professional and have super wide feet.  Sigh.

So what was supposed to be week 5 was a bust exercise wise which is a really slippery slope. The mental and emotional connection between eating well and regular exercise is powerful.  My weight stayed the same, but I didn't get to finish the program.  I then returned home for 2 days, with company at home with us, then we left as a family for a week long trip to the beach - one where I was working and the family was enjoying the ocean and pool at the hotel.  I did get to put my feet in the water a few times, and I had an incredible 4 days with two different teams, but I made some pretty poor choices foodwise. Chalk it up to exhaustion, hanging out with family who don't usually travel (so they were way excited about eating out - ha) and once again, I was so exhausted and my feet hurt so badly that I physically didn't do much besides sleep, eat and work really really hard.

Not surprisingly my body hurt MOST of the week - my left shoulder flared up, my right hip began bothering me.  Dairy, sugar and grains are just NOT my friends regardless of how I'm eating.  I definitely felt what I was eating every day.

It stinks not to be able to come back here and tell you that I reached my goal for May. Any progress I made I lost in 5 days.  That's the challenge with any healthy lifestyle attempts.  You can undo all the good progress in 4 weeks in just a few days and it will likely take me a week to normalize again.

But when I'm already feeling kind of down on myself, something I don't need to feel is that I owe someone else an explanation.  I've made the decision to close my blog Facebook page.  This doesn't mean I'm going to stop blogging - but over the last few years I have felt like I was having to report to other people versus reporting out on how I'm doing to my close friends and family which was my intention when I began. I originally set up my page because I was tired of posting my blog link on my personal Facebook page and people, "friends" commenting or messaging me to say that I was making them feel bad by sharing my own progress.  That was back in 2010.  Eight years later I feel like now that you can hide facebook "friends" from your news feed, I'm fine with people doing that, and that is their right. There's absolutely zero reason for me to keep up a separate page, feel like I HAVE to post there and give myself guilt about whether or not I'm encouraging anyone else's journey. It was like I created more work for myself to make other people happy.  Silly, I know.

I have spent the last few months self-reflecting about my personality and how it might affect others following some sad realizations in relationships with people I thought I was close to.  While I absolutely never want to alienate people, maybe the almost 40 year old in me is weary of people pleasing and trying to change who I am to make others more comfortable.  During this time of reflection and soul searching a dear friend shared with me that I shouldn't dull my sparkle because it's shining too bright for some people.  They may just need to get some shades.

Since this blogging adventure needs to be all about me, I'm totally content with it just being what it is...an online space for me to spill my guts, share the good, bad and ugly of this journey of pounds lost, gained and lost, and a place, above all else, for ME. I have never made money on it.  I've never gained anything from it except some online friends and a place of accountability for myself.

This blog is for me to track my progress.  It's for me to refer back to when times are hard.  It's for me to see my journey and never forget where I've been on my way to where I'm going.  It's for me to benefit from, and I'm SO happy that others have found inspiration here.  I hope you continue to do so and I'm happy for you to be a follower and comment here on my blog.  But the Facebook page piece is going to be inactive going forward. And I feel really content with that decision, and a massive sense of relief to be honest.

I will have to continue this journey for myself and make that my focus, while removing what felt like a "need" to have a blog as there were people looking for updates from me. We can communicate here through comments, etc., if we aren't "friends" in real life. I look forward to continuing to connect and share, here.

All of that said, I'm going to sign off for now and get some rest. I'm still working on figuring out what my next fitness step is - considering a 5x5 kettlebell program that I began studying last night - but since I fly to California for most of next week leaving Sunday I may wait to start it when I return home.

See you when I see you. Thank you for hanging around with me, even when I am less than inspirational as I gear myself up for yet another "day one."

Clara

Week 4 Complete!

Heyyy! It’s time to check in from my first week with an actual written out goal AND plan! I've completed Week 4, and would have blogged sooner, except I have traveled the last two weekends, so just did brief updates on my Facebook page. So, here is the full update!

Let’s review:

Long range goal - Lose 80 more pounds (total of 100 pounds) by my 40th birthday (3/1/19). Short range goal: Lose 7.5 pounds per month.

• Track my food until I am fully confident I don't need to (aka, can go a day or two or week or two with no weight gain).  UPDATE: tracked *almost* every day the past 4 weeks! I'm giving myself Saturdays off from tracking but still being wise about my choices. I know tracking my macros is paying off - had to make some adjustments this week but I feel like I've found my sweet spot! More on that later...

• Plan my meals weekly, doing some meal prep with the family so we all have healthy options available that stay within budget.  UPDATE: Have done really well for all 4 weeks! The travel weeks got a little hairy but I made sure to be conscious of my decisions, while also not being hard on myself.  Last week I fasted 24 hours at one point, not really on purpose but because I couldn't stomach any airport food and by the time I got home (midnight) I was so tired I crashed! 

• Test for ketones daily until my results stay consistent. UPDATE: I stopped tracking this every day because I stay around the same in ketones, and as long as I keep eating this way, I am in ketosis.  PLUS - being in ketosis DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY GUARANTEE FAT LOSS! More on that later in the blog...

• Begin the T25 workout program as prescribed, following the modifier and taking rest breaks as needed until I don't have to. The Alpha program is 5 weeks and begins tomorrow 4/9/18. UPDATE: finished week 4! This week I was able to do burpees again!  And some of the ab stuff I couldn't do in week 1! It's so exciting to see progress. 

• Participate in STATurday, where I measure my progress and report it on my blog sometime each weekend. UPDATE: weighed in this morning - EEEEEEK! Can't wait to share - keep reading.

•  Plan ahead a few days when I may not stay in ketosis.  Such as Wyatt's birthday next weekend, or when we travel two weekends in a row at the end of the month.  Be flexible, but firm with myself and don't allow my workouts to suffer due to poor choices (which means they will be limited!). UPDATE: I have Stephen's birthday tomorrow - but I'm feeling so strong that I am not sure I'll partake in anything that would cause weight gain. We shall see.  I feel zero pressure either way! My family had desserts from two different places last night and I abstained and it didn't even bother me! Super happy about the headspace I'm in right now.

• Plan to reach out to my fitness mentors and friends when the days or weeks are challenging before making a less than helpful decision. UPDATE: Kept up with a few of my BFFs who are also working their fitness goals.  It's so motivating to keep each other on track!

So a few things to talk more about: My macros, ketones and actual week 4 results!

This week I decided to give the ketogains macros a try (https://ketogains.com/) I follow these guys on FB and the group is pretty hard core but the results they put up are incredible. The actual calories are a little lower than I am used to, but I figured I would see how I felt for a few days.  They are 1100 calories total - 8% carb, 62% fat, 30% protein.  I added a few hundred calories just for good measure - and because 1100 scares me - but let's face it, I have alot of fat to lose. I figured taking it up a few hundred but keeping the % the same may still work.  My test would be, how do I feel, and do I actually lose weight or do I stall because it's not enough nutrition.

At the same time, I have been toying with intermittent fasting, and decided to dive in because I felt so good doing a 16/8 eating window (fast for 16 hours, eat during an 8 hour window) and it really seemed easy. My issue was, it was tough to hit my protein goal in such a short window.  So, I added a protein shake with a cup of coconut milk, ice, water and Primal Kitchen Collagen protein (chocolate coconut flavor).  Two scoops pack a good protein smack without adding fat or a ton of calories/carbs.  This made a HUGE difference this week I think, with hunger too.  Having just black coffee in the morning, then eating lunch was fine, but by the time I would be cooking dinner I was ravenous - so this shake is my pre-dinner snack and it's been exactly what I needed, and it tastes fantastic so that's a huge bonus.

Immediately I saw something shift on the scale and on my body.  I went anywhere between 1250 - 1580 calories this week, with my macros percentages being right on target (8% carb, 62% fat, 30% protein) and ate alot less dairy this week as well (sad face but seriously cheese hates me!).  And BAM weight loss picked up, as well as my energy.

That brings me to chasing ketones.  I've been in ketosis for WEEKS, and in and out of it since October.  I mean every time I checked. I could even eat some carbs and check and my body has stayed in ketosis, or gotten back by that evening. I had a paleo pancake with chocolate chips, peanut butter and maple syrup for my first meal today about 2 hours ago (directly after weigh in LOL) and I'm juuuust under ketosis at .2 ketone level.  I'm sure by tonight I'll be back in.  What's my point?  You can be in ketosis but not have your macros set correctly to actually lose weight.  So, honestly, my last ketone strip will sit in the jar for awhile. (I do blood tests with a keto mojo meter in case you're curious). I won't be basing success on that number, or be too concerned with it anymore.

Successful HEALTHY keto is not eating all the meat/cheese and bacon you can stuff in your face and hope you lose weight...

A healthy, successful keto diet is really just a low carb version of paleo - lots of green, more protein and honestly, less fat than many keto diets prescribe. If you have fat to lose (like me!) then you DO NOT NEED high fat keto. I don't add fat to anything. I cook with it and I eat bacon but don't purposely add fat to my food afterward. It's not always necessary (unless my macros call for it which is like never lol).

That said - my grams for fat came in just under 100 per day.  So I would not at all call what I'm doing a "low fat keto diet," either.  The ketogains folks recommend that your protein number is a goal, carbs are a limit to stay under and fat is the lever you use to keep you satiated. For me, a girl with 70+ pounds left to lose, a great number of those fat pounds, it makes more sense to be more calculated in how I eat, especially as I heal my body from lots of less than stellar choices.

The other thing I want to mention is that there is NO ONE WAY for everyone to eat.  Period.  I see so many people hating on keto, trying to debunk paleo, harassing vegans, saying shakes are the only way to go...it's getting ridiculous. Just like our political and religious views, it seems people get so hung up on their current "good food word" that anything other than what they do is wrong and horrible.  (insert eye roll here). 

Different body types, personalities, lifestyle needs, and beliefs all play into HOW one gets themselves healthy.  Heck, I'm not even doing what I did to lose the 100 pounds the first time! Read back in 2010 in my blog and you'll see that.  I'm doing what is working for me, for now.  And it's different at 39 than it was at 30.

If you create a caloric deficit, and eat healthy, whole food, and move your body regularly you should see successful healthy weight loss. You CANNOT outrun your fork. Period. 

Recently, the Keto Reset Diet book by Mark Sisson was a huge help to me to find my way back to my paleo preferences and enjoy this process again.  My inflammation is at an all time low, I'm sleeping GREAT, I'm losing weight steadily again and I have a ton more energy.

So. RESULTS this week?  Well, since changing my macros this week, I dropped another 4.2 pounds! This is following my .2 loss last week which was meh - but because of all of the travel I gave myself some grace.  This means I'm at 28.4 pounds down, or 28.4% to my overall goal!  For the month since I started, I am down 8.2 pounds, so I surpassed my goal of 7.5 pounds this month!

I'm in a new "ten number" on the scale and I haven't seen this number since before Wyatt was born!

A few non-scale victories: I mentioned reduced inflammation - my joints are feeling GOOD.  I found myself sitting criss cross applesauce last weekend - can't believe I can even SIT like that! My clothes are getting looser and people at work are beginning to comment on my newfound waist-line.  My energy is through the roof and I'm super focused at work - incredibly productive and things are going amazingly well. 

ALL GOOD THINGS!

Keep on keeping on my friends.  Check in next week will include FULL stats and how many inches are lost!

Be well,
Clara