Saturday, August 28, 2010

Never be Fat Again.

My weigh in this morning was exciting - down another few pounds - I weighed in at 219, which is 66 pounds down!  Woohoo!  I'm so excited.  I was at 220 in August 2006 when I began to get "sick" resulting in finally being diagnosed with the meningioma in my brain in April 2009.  It feels so good to be under that weight and my weight loss is not stopping!

So unfortunately I got a speeding ticket this week - on my way to the brain MRI.  Funny thing was the cop underestimated my weight by alot - he put 150 pounds!  I was almost happy to pay the fine when I saw that.  LOL.

So the really obvious epiphany I had earlier this week um, worked!  Funny how if you get moving more it makes a difference.  All I did this week was add in a walk on one of my off days.  I would have done more but ended up with a stress migraine yesterday which had me nauseated even through this morning.  But  I pushed through it this morning and had a great run, 20 mins, my longest in over a month.  It felt great and I feel great.

So I read this book a few years ago on lateness.  I used to really struggle with being late.  I was always way later than I anticipated and until I became a salaried employee it was an issue with clocking in at work!  Even as a salaried employee I know it frustrated my bosses and co-workers (sorry, love ya'll!).  This book was called "Never Be Late Again: 7 Cures for the Punctually Challenged."  The book helped me realize that I didn't have a good concept of time, so that is why I was always late.  I underestimated how long everything took, from drying my hair to my commute.  Once I learned how long those things really took (by tracking them for a week and writing it down) I became better at guestimating my time.  In fact, for awhile I just added 15 mins to everything until I became good at guessing what time it was.  :)

What does this have to do with changing my physical blueprint?

Well I think the weight loss journey has been alot like my lateness journey.  I had to figure out what I was doing wrong to get a result that was undesirable (excess weight and bad health).  I had to get underneath the "how did I get to be almost 300 pounds" question and determine how I would never go back there again.  And now that I have figured it out, the weight is continuing to fall off.

So many people don't believe me that I'm not on some "diet plan."  I know its hard to believe.  But if I called my healthy lifestyle a diet, I would eventually "cheat" then "fall of the wagon," at some point "hate myself," then "binge," and finally "give up" then gain all the weight back!  But I know beyond the shadow of a doubt, in the deepest fiber of my being, that I will never be fat again. This I truly know!  Because like my lateness issue, I've figured it out, I've worked out the kinks and then every few months when the weight loss stalls, I go back to the drawing board to figure out why.  I don't give up.  I've come too far to give up.  Even 5 or 10 pounds is too far to give up people!

This time it was needing to move it more...and I did...and I lost more.  This isn't even my big week to lose!  That is 2 weeks away still.  So I could potentially reach 214 in the next two weeks.  Wow.

I know this all sounds logical and if its boring, sorry.  I just feel like sometimes we over complicate our life struggles and it is too hard to be self-aware enough to see why things happen.  We diet, lose a chunk the first week (water weight) get discouraged when we only lose 1 in week 2, then give up.  Or we do it for 2 months, then go to a family reunion, someone in the family gets hospitalized and we give up and say we'll get back to what "works" for us soon.

A diet plan is not working when it stops working and you gain weight back.  Period.  If it didn't work before, it won't work now - it might "work" for awhile, but will it last?  do you really want to keep doing the same thing over and over again every few years and returning to the love/hate relationship that includes deprivation and depression?

Am I crazy?  Doesn't that make sense?

OK, enough ranting for the day.  For now I'm pretty happy with the fact that I am now more "chunky" than I am fat.  I'll be excited with the BMI chart doesn't call me obese anymore.  Even though the chart is antiquated it is still used so I have to respect it some...



No comments: