This past year, yes, year, has been really challenging for me on the healthy lifestyle front. I've worked really hard to lose weight, and successfully lost 100 pounds. This entire past year I've struggled to continue to lose the remainder of the weight, and instead, end this year (not calendar year, my journey began in August 2009, so my years run August - July) up almost 20 pounds from last year.
I began slipping as soon as I hit that 100 pounds lost but didn't realize it at the time. I felt kind of powerful, invincible. Maybe I could eat this or that now that I was not a "fat girl" anymore.
Yes, that all seems logical, but sometimes when it is you, your life, your choices, logic isn't even close to reality.
A few weeks ago I was at a conference and one night we were entertained by Jerry Seinfeld. I'm a huge Seinfeld fan, (the show about "nothing") and love silly humor. Couldn't wait to see him.
Of all things, one of Jerry's "rants" was about cookies.
He spoke of cookies, and how innocent they are, I mean, Elves make them! But in reality they are just little "chocolate S.O.B's". I don't mean to be crude, and I apologize if anyone was offended. But it was hysterical to me. And I haven't stopped thinking about it.
Cookies and other treats masqerade as yummy, innocent treats meant to spread happiness and joy into the room they occupy. When in reality, they are killing us all by the plateful. And rarely do I feel joyful after a binge of any type, especially cookies.
Recently, I started really thinking about food differently. Food should have no power over me. Why have I let it control and consume me for so long?
Think about this.
**Food has no brain. It is not going to speak to you. Call you, tempt you, whatever. Food cannot make you do anything. It has absolutely no physical power to make you pick it up and eat it.
**We have brains! It's not just about willpower. Making good choices takes conscious decisions. Moving our fork or not. Putting down the cookie or not even picking it up in the first place.
control of one's impulses and actions; self-control.
I don't like the word "willpower" very much because it makes it seem like it is something that belongs to someone else. Maybe someone named Will.
But self-control? Yep. I identify with that. And my brain can control my impulses and actions.
In addition to that, I want to instead rely on my sheer intelligence to beat this food addiction.
It won't be easy.
But don't "they" say that nothing worth doing is easy?
It also isn't impossible.
I've been back on track for about 2 weeks now. I feel awesome. I always say that. I've had alot of "do-overs" in the last year especially. But like any addict, giving up is not an option.
Because I am WAY smarter than the cookie!
Last week I read Bob Harper's new book, the Skinny Rules. I plan on doing a blog post just to debrief his book; it was awesome! Nothing earth shattering, or completely ground breaking. But there are many things I did because I thought they were healthy but didn't necessarily understand the why or have the science to back my theories up.
I did my 5 day food cleanse last week, stumbled a little when we were out of town Friday and Saturday, then dove back on track Sunday.
I've added weight training to my regimen, having joined a gym just a mile from my work. They have awesome cardio classes as well as all the other equipment you can imagine or want. The staff is welcoming and helpful and I feel completely comfortable there. This past 3 years I've sort of neglected weight training. I used hand weights here and there, but no machines and no regular routine. I feel myself getting strong again. In just two weeks I can see a physical change in my body. That is motivation.
Honestly, since I said "Hi, my name is Clara, and I am a food addict." I feel so much more at ease about it. I know it will always be a struggle, and a battle for me. And I know I will not always have the strongest days.
But I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I possess the intelligence and self-control necessary to win the food war.
The cookies have nothing.
Who's with me?