We Lose Our Way...We Get Back Up Again!

Welcome back to my Blog. Well, welcome ME back to my blog.  I haven't been here in awhile.  If you've been looking for me and wondered if I was still alive, I am.

Not in the best health of my life, but alive.  Really, my own fault.  I lost my way! 

I have spent some serious time over the last month or two looking over the past year and analyzing what went wrong, and why I lost my way and gained weight back. For reference sake, I must admit I gained 40 pounds back of the 100 I had lost.  Oh how I have dreaded putting that information out there.  But it is my reality and I'm facing it head on.

I really think when I hit the 100 pound down mark, I no longer felt "fat" and I eased up on things.  At first just on my eating...slowly I began easing up on my activity and exercise too.  I was still doing stuff, but not doing it as well or as diligently as I was doing before.

My *biggest* realization has been this:

No matter how "fit" I get, I will HAVE to CONTINUE my healthy lifestyle in order to maintain that fitness.

Can we just take a moment and let that sink in?

It seems logical.  I've posted many times about Mud Mountain...and how I slide a little bit and somehow end up in a pile at the bottom of it.

I also talk about falling off the wagon.  The wagon dragged me along for awhile.  That was me trying to keep a grasp but not living how I needed to live.

Eventually, with the stress of the move, etc., I just simply let go.  And the waggon became a memory.  And my clothes stopped fitting me.  And I cursed myself for giving away all of my bigger clothes as soon as I grew out of a size.

Though that might have been a blessing in disguise as the reality of not being able to wear anything cute hit me square in the face recently.  I was forced to buy a pair of size 14 jeans.  Remember...in March I was sporting size 10s.  Sigh.

I also realized I spent alot of time trying to encourage others.  Which I definitely want to do and plan to, in a more limited way.  I need to spend my time focused completely on my own journey.  And make it all about me again.  So my blog will take on that kind of slant, when I do make time to blog again. Not sure how that will fit into my new schedule.

I began looking for a plan to get me back to where I needed to be.  I've always wanted to try the Turbo Fire workout videos (from beachbody) but never wanted to pay over $100 for them...then they went half off a few weeks ago.  I jumped on it and ordered it.  A beachbody coach I've followed for awhile on Facebook was also starting a little facebook group for a 90 day challenge starting 12/2.  I signed up.  One other facet of the whole thing is drinking a Shakeology shake per day.  Shakeology is pretty expensive but no more than other shake programs out there.  I love that its all natural and decided, what the heck, I'll give it a month.  It won't be a meal replacement for me, but a good healthy snack. This girl likes her real food.

I'm also planning on easing my running back up again.  Two shorter runs during the week (one speedwork, the other just 3-4 miles).  Then one longer run on the weekend. I'd like to get back into half training. But one thing at a time here.  I'm not going to overwhelm myself.

I started the program this week with a 3 day cleanse.  It was very calorie restrictive so I didn't exercise.  I drank 3 shakes a day, a few pieces of fruit and had a salad with chicken or steak for dinner.  I lost 10 pounds.

Of course most of that 10 pounds is water weight. BUT.  It does mean at this point now I've only gained 30 back. That makes me happy.

Now I'm back to eating real food again.  The goal?  Mainly the way I ate before, but I'm tweaking a little bit.  Mostly veggies and some fruit, lean protein like chicken, steak or fish and lots of water.  I'm not giving up carbs completely but I am seeking out alternatives.

Clean eating folks.  That's whats up.

Will keep you all posted on how I'm doing! I truly hope to drop around 30 pounds in this challenge, then continue kicking the gears up until I reach my goal weight of 165.

Thanks for reading and for hanging in there with me.  Please forgive me if you feel I have failed you.  I truly feel I've mainly failed myself. 

But when we lose our way, we get back up again!

Enjoy this song from Toby Mac.  Get Back Up AGAIN!

Hugs,
Clara

You turned away when I looked you in the eye,

And hesitated when I asked if you were alright,
Seems like you're fighting for you life,
But why? oh why?
Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare,
You saw it comin' but it hit you outta no where,
And theres always scars
When you fall back far

We lose our way,
We get back up again
It's never too late to get back up again,
One day you will shine again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever,

Lose our way,
We get back up again,
So get up, get up,
You gonna shine again,
Never too late to get back up again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever

[May be knocked down but not out forever]
You're rolled out at the dawning of the day
Heart racin' as you made you little get away,
It feels like you've been runnin' all your life
But, why? Oh why?

So you've pulled away from the love that wou'd've been there,
You start believin' that your situation's unfair
But there's always scars,
When you fall back far
We lose our way,
We get back up again
Never too late to get back up again,
One day, you gonna shine again,
You may be knocked down but not out forever,

Lose our way, we get back up again,
So get up, get up
You gonna shine again
It's never too late, to get back up again
You may be knocked down, but not out forever,
May be knocked down, but not out forever!

This is love callin', love callin', out to the broken,
This is love callin'.
This is love callin', love callin', out to the broken
This is love callin'.
This is love callin', love callin',
I am so broken
This is love callin' love callin

Lose our way, [way way way ay ay ay]
We get back up, [get back up again]
It's never too late [late late late ate ate ate]
You may be knocked down but not out forever!

Lose our way,
We get back up again,
So get up get up
You gonna shine again
Never too late to get back up again
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever,
This is love [lose our way] callin' love callin' [get back up again]