Saturday, January 18, 2014

New Year, New Start

Hey friends!  Been a looooong blog break.  So much to tell.  I'll start at the beginning, and when I get to the end I'll stop.  Deal?  Deal.

So in December I participated in a 21 day challenge starting on 12/2 to take me through to Christmas without gaining "holiday weight."  It was AWESOME.  Perfectly timed, and the accountability I needed.  About two weeks in I picked up some sort of December virus.  You know the kind, horrid cold that hits you out of NOWHERE.  I was literally in bed for a few days which never happens to me.  I went through an antibiotic that did nothing.  Only when I started taking a steroid did I begin to recover.

Oh great, a steroid.  Instantaneous weight gain right?  Actually, not in this case.  I lost weight.  Like 5 lbs in a week.  My low weight was 172 pounds.  172! I cannot ever remember the scale saying that, not since my junior year of high school.

During my illness I didn't exercise, but I did make sure my eating was on point.  I didn't have much appetite but still forced myself to eat 3 times a day.  I lost weight probably due to losing some muscle, but also due to keeping my nutrition tight.

I was finally starting to feel better and I was gearing up for a wonderful stay-cation at Christmas. I had from 12/24 - 1/2/14 off of work! All the presents were wrapped under the tree, the out of town gifts were mailed out and cards signed, sealed and delivered.  I was settled in on the Sunday before Christmas, finally starting to feel better, when I received a text from my Mom at 11pm.

"At the ER with Dad, possible stroke.  Please let the brothers know and start prayers."

If you have parents over the age of 60, you pretty much constantly flinch when a text or call comes in late at night.  This was the text I had been flinching over for a few years.

My parents have been eating Whole 30/Paleo like me since July.  Mom has lost 25 pounds and Dad had lost 35 at the time.  She was pretty much done losing but Daddy still had a ways to go.

As the hours continued, and the conversations with brothers, travel plans and the enormity of the situation settled into my heart, I realized my plans were rapidly changing.

The next morning, we woke up, opened up our Christmas presents, then packed and headed to Florida.  Dad had definitely had a stroke and had very limited use of his left side.

We spent the next 5 days in the hospital, and today he's finishing up at a Rehabilitation hospital where he has absolutely AMAZED everyone around him with his positive outlook and diligence in regaining his left side.  Today he can walk with a cane for short distances and with some assistance, and I have no doubt he will recover just about fully with time.  He and Mom plan to return to W30/Paleo as soon as he is home, which will be this week.

All that to say that I spent two unexpected weeks in Florida.  Complete with tons of eating out, ice cream, fried food, zits, arthritis, mood changes and looking about 10 years older when I got home.  I know how to do this, folks, I just chose not to.  And I paid for it.

I was 187 pounds when I returned home.  Good thing I had a Whole 30 group starting on January 1st/6th.

And boy, did I need it.

When I say I looked older when I got home, I ain't kidding!  It wasn't pretty.  But about 24 hours into eating right again and I began to feel my insides healing again.  Big sigh.  I know how to do this.

I've felt awesome for the last two weeks.  I have no idea what I weigh now but if I had to guess it would be somewhere in the 170s, maybe even low 170s.  My size 10 jeans are falling off of me.  I'm going to try on some 8s this week.  AHHH!

I also started a new workout program, P90X3!  I'm excited about it.  It's tough, but only 30 minutes long.  You all know how I love me a shorter workout!  So far, I'm enjoying it, though it will be hard to compare T25 to it. T25 was the bestest ever.  I'll probably do it again once I'm done with P90X3...though this one is 90 days long!  EEEK!

Last night I hosted a Whole 30 potluck at my house for the local folks participating in the challenge this month.  I was SO impressed with our W30 spread!

Here's what we had, going in order of the buffet (lol):

Shepherd's pie (using venison and mashed cauliflower on top)
Crab Cakes (recipe here)
Deviled eggs (paleo mayo, fresh dill, mustard, sea salt, paprika)
Zucchini ribbons/spaghetti with an amazing homemade sauce
Grilled chicken tenders with southwest seasoning
Meat stuffed plum tomatoes
Roasted sweet potatoes
Roasted brussel sprouts
Sauteed mushrooms
Shrimp skewers

Seriously, we were all stuffed and it was amazing.  First time I have ever had a buffet of beautiful, compliant whole 30 food! It was amazing.

Journeying with this group has been wonderful for a few reasons.  First, it's reminding me of the excitement I had in my first Whole 30 last February.

I also remember how overwhelming it was.  I remember how awful I felt for a few weeks.  How tired I was.  How limited I felt.  How judged I was by others who didn't understand what I was doing, or thought it was unhealthy, extreme, or just plain silly.

Then I remember that day I seemed to turn a corner.  Getting on the scale on my birthday (Day 30) and weighing 12 pounds less than when I started.

I remember pushing myself harder last year than I ever have.  I remember turning down MANY MANY MANY foods that would steer me away from my goals.  I remember eating more veggies last year than I EVER HAVE IN MY LIFE.

I remember watching my parents begin this journey and see successes. 

I remember binging on more than one occasion.  I remember realizing that I have an issue, not with weight, but with food.  I remember how hard it was to face that, name it, and claim it as part of me.

I remember beginning to heal from that.

More than anything, I remember taking control of my food fate, and losing the 40 pounds I had gained back in another 10.

Moving forward is a beautiful thing.  I am excited to work toward continued healing this year, knowing that I will always be a food-aholic, and being completely OK with that.  Because while I am accepting that is who I have been for a long time, and I am loving myself in spite of it, I am also not remaining in a bad place long enough to lose sight of all I have accomplished and pushing forward.

2009 vs 2013. BOOM!

2007 vs 2014.  Pardon the bite of apple clearly in my mouth in the pic from this week. :)

It's a new year.  Not a "new" start, but a restart, a chance to continue pushing forward, with the goal of having more good days than bad in 2014. 

That, my friends, is what daily decision making is all about.  For this month, ALL of the decisions I'm making nutritionally are to move me toward my goal of 165 pounds, not away from it. And I'm 13 days in and feeling like a million bucks.

That counts. :)


1 comment:

Sarah Reed said...

*hugs* SO glad your Dad is doing better and is rocking his recovery (and going back to W30/Paleo!). Also really glad that I'm in this challenge with you, no matter how much I complain! :)