And All Roads Lead To...

Home? Maybe.  Finding my happy place?  YES.

So I finished a successful Whole 30 this past week.  Actually I did a Whole 39, staying on plan a few extra days for my friend Annie to finish hers up.

In those 5 plus weeks, I lost 17 pounds.  WHAA???  Yeah that's what I said too!  I weighed in at my lowest of 170.2.

So super duper close to 165, a number I would, for some reason, call HOME. (or GOAL or DONE or whatever).  The funny thing is, I guessed at that number when I weighed 285.  I didn't dwell on it much then, as it was SO FAR from 285 pounds.  But I guessed I would end up there.

And as I look at my 170 pound body I realize it's probably more like 155ish that I should be shooting for (and Nate is saying "told you so!").  HA!  Jokes on me.

But truly this is not depressing, because at this point, I know I am going to get to wherever my happy place is weight-wise.  Which could be different things at different times in my life.

It's no secret that I would love to consider having another baby at some point.  I don't know if I can, or will.  But it is definitely a goal to shoot for.  And one my husband is ecstatic at the thought of.  I turn 35 in a few weeks so I know I really can't keep delaying it.

Overall, I'm pretty happy about how things are going.  I had a few days of intentional offroading and learned a few important lessons from my poor gut's reaction.

1) I don't miss bread.  Like at all.  Even if I decide to have a burger out and about, I don't need or want the bun.  Unnecessary gut pain.  
2) If I'm going to eat pizza out ever again, I can GUARANTEE it won't be from a fast food pizza place.  Oh my geez.  I almost induced vomiting to feel better the other day after some pizza from a "hut."  Next time I'll hold out for the awesome firestone cooked pizza from an Italian place.  Waaaay more worth it! Or, I can make my own, on lavash.  (zero gut pain or weight gain there!).
3) I will be super duper picky about chocolate going forward.  If it's not organic, I'm not eating it.  It is unbelievable how awful store bought valentine's chocolate can make you feel.  (But my homemade paleo brownie pie?  AMAZING.  Here's the recipe: Paleo Brownie Pie (with icing)) Totally worth it and NOT a gut bomb.  I seriously had sores in my mouth from this awful pseudo-chocolate.  GROSS.

Of course the scale HATES me right now but instead of obsessing over that little 2 days off, I'm cleaning things up and going pretty close to Whole 30 starting tomorrow.  I say pretty close as I will still allow *some* dried fruit (not alot, but some raisins in recipes here and there, as well as RX bars, which are W30 approved) and I also will not allow myself to obsess much about meat choices while traveling.  Do the best I can, and my results will continue to speak for themselves!

So a subject that's been percolating in my mind to share with you lately (besides that update) is the difference between can't (cannot) and won't (will not).

Here are the definitions as you know I love to start there:

Can't (cannot): to be UNABLE to do something.  Like I CAN'T do certain poses in yoga as it is physically impossible for TRex (me) to do it. Eventually I might be able to do these things with practice, but right out of the gate?  Can't do it.  So I do the best I can instead.

Won't (will not): to be UNWILLING to do something.  Like when someone says I WON'T drink coffee without creamer.

Actually, they usually say "I can't give up my creamer" but what they mean is "I won't."

Look, I'm not trying to upset anyone by pointing this out, but I feel like we should take FULL responsibility for what we are WILLING to do!  Why do we feel it is appropriate to avoid responsibility when it comes to our food, exercise, and drink choices?  I think we as a society have enabled ourselves and each other to cop out of said responsibility.  And it's not helping us, folks, it's getting in our way of being at our best health, AND it's making us feel like we aren't in control of our own successes.

If we weren't somewhat in control of what happened to us, how would anyone ever excel at anything???

So next time you say you "CAN'T" get up early to work out, unless you have to be at work at 7am and have 3 kids to get ready for school BEFORE that, ask yourself..."Is it that I can't or that I WON'T?"

Healthy lifestyles don't need to be miserable.  You might decide "I just WON'T get up early" and that's completely fine.  But then don't find an excuse not to work out later.  Just about everyone I know that works out has a VERY busy life, myself included.  But we make it a priority.  I WILL WORK OUT.  And if I decide not to do it in the morning I WILL do it later in the day or before going to bed.

Because if you are truly determined to DO something, then you will.

This whole rant reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

Another favorite, that my husband used recently in our church newsletter is this:

Sorry for the graphic picture.  ha! 

I'm passionate about this because I truly lived my life saying "I can't" but meaning "I won't" for a LONG TIME.  I was that person who was too busy, didn't like vegetables, had zero extra time for food prep and was unable to run as I got winded easily.

That girl turned into someone who can easily go run a 5k, cooks 3 meals a day on days that I'm home, does food prep on Sunday afternoons, LOOOOOVES me some veggies, and work out almost every day even though I am busier than I have ever been as a working/traveling career person, wife of a pastor, mommy to a tween and struggling like everyone else to keep my house sanitary.

And you know what?  I'm doing it.  Because I stopped using my unwillingness to change as an excuse to stay exactly where I was.

I suspect I'm hitting a nerve with someone out there...please know it's not personal.  I'm all about being direct...and truly I would probably be a little miffed were I reading this pre-2009.  But I feel like these things are so important to share just in case even ONE of you out there is ready to hear it.

Share away my friends...maybe we can get more people saying "I WILL" vs. "I WON'T"!

One person at a time, one blog at a time.

Because THESE kind of results don't come from someone who is UNWILLING to change:

OR how about my amazing Dad?  What if he said "I won't go to therapy and give 150%" or "I can't do this or that."???  Where would he be?  Certainly not getting up to hug me with BOTH arms when I saw him last week.  Check him out.

One last pic - of me and my hubster a few weeks ago at a friends house.  I married such a hottie! BLESSED! 

Me?  I'm finishing packing my bags for a week in Arkansas of all places.  First visit there and excited to explore Little Rock and find me some good healthy places to eat (and shop)!

Thanks for being on this journey with me. :)

Clara