Ponderings

I started watching this show, the Extreme Makeover, Weight Loss Edition.  If you haven't seen it, basically instead of the Biggest Loser "game" they take one person at a time through a 365 day transformation in a one hour show.  The last few weeks they had guys on there, and tonight they had a girl.  The emotional difference this week is incredible to me and I was moved to tears just moments ago as the show started.

I remember what it felt like, not to be 433 pounds as I never passed 300, but I was almost 300 pounds.  I was 285 pounds.  Knocking on 300's door.  Just a few months away from it really.

I look at her face and the tears rolling down it as she is on the scale facing that number.

I remember being so embarrassed when my doctor pointed out the "fatty hump" that had appeared on the back of my neck.

I see the determination in her eyes and then the pain through her tough first workout.

I remember my feet bleeding when I first started walking regularly...because I couldn't reach my toenails to trim them and was too proud to ask for help.

I see her struggle with her eating, learning what and how to eat.

I remember shoving back feelings of remorse after a huge meal (pretty much every meal was a huge meal) and wanting to hide instead of having anyone see me eat.

I hope with all of my athletic accomplishments that I never forget what it felt like to hurt walking out to the mailbox.

I hope I never, ever disconnect myself from who I once was. 

I hope I can help others realize their own potential through my trials and tribulations.

I hope that people are inspired by my story...realizing that their own story is waiting to be realized.

There is potential in us all.  Will we all be marathoners?  Probably not.  I don't think I will.  But we can all do something more than we are doing today.

You might think I've accomplished so much that I'm levels above people who are still struggling.

You are wrong.

There is only one difference between me and the person still struggling.

Determination. 

There is a fire in my belly and my heart is more committed than ever to being healthy.  I will see my goal reached in a few months.  But the hard work will continue, forever.

I can hope all day long, but I know I will never stop trying to be stronger and healthier.  My life will never be the same.  And neither will hers. 

That, my friends, seriously rocks.

~Clara