Today I finally reached my main goal - and I ran WITHOUT STOPPING! I can't tell you how great that feels! I smiled my way across that finish line. I was exhausted, completely drenched in sweat, but just ecstatic to have reached this goal.
One year ago I had trouble walking out to my car and giving my daughter a bath.
One year ago if you had told me I would have run an entire 5k race without stopping I would have laughed...then been embarrassed since I knew I would never be able to do that.
The whole point of this blog is to motivate other people. If you are reading this and you don't think you could run a 5k, listen, I promise you can! I still have plenty of weight to lose - so I'm looking at it as an even bigger accomplishment - who else ran today with 60 pounds strapped to them? Just me.
Throughout the race there were two girls in front of me who ran and walked the whole way - they may have been doing the couch to 5k program for all I know, but as soon as I got close to where I might pass them they ran again. :) It wasn't irritating, really, it was good to be watching them the entire time. I weigh at least 100 pounds more than each of them....so when I passed them at the last 1/3 of a mile and they tried to run but couldn't keep up, it was exhilarating. I really poured on the speed that last 1/3 mile - I was going to dump all of my quarters right there! (and not leave any in the arcade as my wise triathlete brother Alex says). And I'm so glad to say I did. A few of the finished runners were cheering me on. My family didn't come with me this time as we have a ton to do in 24 hours to get ready for vacation - and really, I wanted to do this on my own, by myself. To prove to me, only me, that I could.
On the way to the race I was telling myself "I will finish the race today. I will run without stopping. Today, I will accomplish my goal." I really believed that...even as I stood, sweating already just waiting for the race to start.
In other related news, I lost another pound, so I am down to 227, which is 58 pounds down! Very exciting. Crossing 60 pound will be a major mile marker for me...it will be halfway to my goal of 120 pounds down. These mini goals in between the big milestones are helping a great deal. It is so important to have realistic goals you can meet along the way!
I had my last week at my amazing job this week (I have a few weeks left of work, just from home). As a going away gift, some wonderful best friends at work made me a goodbye video. It was so touching! And hilarious. They had some video footage I didn't even know existed...seeing myself on video and in pictures I was amazed at how much I almost didn't recognize myself. Almost 60 pounds doesn't seem like as "much" as I appeared to be carrying. It amazes me how completely I have changed the way I look. I don't even know that woman anymore, the one who stayed away from the camera as much as possible (hence the not knowing video footage existed, ahem). I'm so going to miss that job...and especially those people. But what a journey I have taken this last year. I am less nervous about interviewing for other jobs than I would have been at 285 pounds. I look like I am on my way to being fit. That feels great.
So today I will bask in the glory of accomplishing a huge goal. I will celebrate how much healthier my heart is today compared to a year ago. I will look at my current blueprint realizing, that even though the plans are not completely drawn out, the end result is so going to be worth this effort. And I will continue to share and encourage along the way, hoping that if you are that one "starfish" out there who isn't sure you can make it, you read this and let me toss you back into the water.
~Clara
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