Monday, September 3, 2012

Season of Accountability

Hey all!

I've had good days and bad days in August.  Successes and failures.  Hard times and wonderful times.

To every season there is a purpose!

I'd love to completely understand my own brain enough to know why I don't have my "crap" completely together at this point.  But my unfailing humanity is what keeps failing me.

I am ok with being imperfect.  I am thankfully forgiven, and continue to be when I fail and sin on a daily basis.  But that doesn't mean I should stop striving to be better in all areas and aspects of my life.

Friday night I hit and killed a family's beloved dog on my drive home from work.  It was horrible - did not see her until I hit her and I was going 60 mph as it was a long stretch of highway.  I turned around immediately and tried to help her owners with her but she was gone.  It was horrible.  Talk about ugly cry all the way home and for hours after that.  I felt horrible for her, for the family, and couldn't help but wish it was different and that I had seen her and been able to stop (though at that speed it is unlikely - by the way, the posted speed limit is 55 so I wasn't really speeding).

I had a feeling that hitting her at that speed would kill her instantly, but I was still accountable for having hit her, so I turned around to see what I could do to help.  There was no question in my mind that I had to stop and I ran barefoot across the highway (my 4 inch heels didn't make it far past lunch) and grieved with the owners.  They asked if I was ok, if my car was ok, honestly I didn't care, I was just horrified that I had taken a life.  And the grown man struggling not to cry in front of me made it that much harder.

What does this have to do with my healthy lifestyle?  Accountability.  I recently had to take driving school due to a speeding ticket and not being able to carry more points on my license (ahem).  One of the sections said if you hit an animal you must stop - to see if it has passed, call the authorities if it has not and no one is around because you can't leave the animal there suffering.  I probably would have stopped anyway but that is what immediately came to my mind.

So when it comes to accountability, I realize in my life, I need that in order to be successful.  My blog has been a huge source of that for me.  The virtual friends I've made online following my journey and cheering me on have all become an integral part of my success.  I've always been honest and up front with my failures and faceplants.  And you all have always told me to keep on keeping on.

So for the next month (at least) I'm going to post on my blog daily.  I may post a scripture, or quote that has inspired me, along with what I ate that day and what activity I did.  I know myself well and if I have to post a picture of every crappy choice I make, I will much less likely eat it!  I won't post pictures of every food I eat, just the amazing healthy choices here and there along with my slip ups.  It will make me think twice, that's for sure.

I'll also likely have a note here or there about my running training as right now I'm training for a half marathon.  I just finished week 4 of that training this morning and the race I've tentatively chosen is set for November 10th.

Follow me along this next month or so.  I'm percolating a new goal for the end of the year.  I've decided I totally have maintenance figured out.  But I need to get to where I need to be before I can even think about maintenance dad-gumit!

Thanks all for holding me accountable.  A comment on my blog posts, or note on my facebook page go a long way with encouraging me.  I'll take all the help I can get; and I'll do the same for you!

We got this friends.



Mom said...

Keep your chin up, kiddo!

ClaraB said...

thanks Mom! Love you!